Over the past couple of months and weeks I have had the privilege to talk with many dear friends of mine. At some point in each discussion it has been brought up how crazy ( for lack of better word) the past 1.5 years of my life have been. These talks and events that have taken place and caused me to really pause and reflect on the mercy, love and comfort that the Lord provides us. In the talk mentioned at the top, President Faust talks about the pioneer handcart company that was stuck in a deadly winter and one of the pioneers later says " everyone of us came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our extremities." That statement is so very true in my life. Even up to this very moment my life is full of uncertainty and trials, but in every phone call, every chat with a friend, with every moment I am given to spend with my family I am blessed to get to know God and truly grow in my testimony of his plan and love.
The picture above in one that I have come to cherish more than words can explain. This picture was taken before my dads diagnosis or anything. My dad just sat in the wheelchair while waiting for Rylan to get home and when Rylan got off he just went over and started pushing him. What a tender mercy that someone got this photo.
When my dad was first diagnosed with cancer, we knew it wasn't a short journey but I never would have guessed those things that would transpire in the months following. One of those things being Rylan's passing. That day will be one that I will never forget and still clearly and vividly remember everything about. That day I didn't understand the will of God nor did I fully appreciate nor understand the plan our Father in Heaven has in place. But over the course of the past 18 months, I have been extremely blessed to feel the push of my brother when I thought I couldn't do it any longer.
The pioneer later states“‘I have gone on to that sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked
back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my eyes saw no one.I knew then that the angels of God were there." This has been how I have felt about Rylan. No only for me but I know that He has strengthened each member of my family at some point.
"To whom do we look, in days of grief and disaster, for help and consolation? … They are men and women who have suffered, and out of their experience in suffering they bring forth the riches of their sympathy and condolences as a blessing to those now in need. Could they do this had they not suffered themselves?"
I want anyone who reads this to know 2 things. That if there is anything in your life that you feel alone about or feel is a trial ( no matter how big or small) that 1. God loves you and is there to pick you up 2. I am here for you. I want to use my experiences of grief or suffering to help you. If you need anything please let me know. I know God didn't just give me these trials for myself but so that I could help others as well. I doesn't mean that things will be easy, but they can be easier.
Why do I share all of this because I need to express the truth of which I know and can not doubt. I know that God lives. I know that death is not the end and families are eternal. I know that we each have angels helping us that are seen and unseen. I know that God loves us more than we can ever comprehend. I know that our trials and hardships are there to bring us closer to God to see His truly magnificent plan that is greater than any of us could every know. I know that I have grown closer to my Father in Heaven more in 18 months than I thought was possible. I know that my trials are not over and that there will be more to come but when they do come I will know that God is preparing me for something greater than I was capable without those experiences. I know that my Savior, Jesus Christ, died for ME, and you, to help us return to our God and be able to repent but also to be the one who can weep with us in times of hardship. He will never leave our side. He knows us and knows what we are going through. I know that miracles happen in big ways and small. I know that " If there was no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens."
Thank you so much Shayli!
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